Overation*, Underation*

*May not be real words, but should be.

In the run up to Christmas, i bought myself two films. One was highly celebrated, anticipated and cost me £9. The other was on the "Gender Bender" shelf (Apparently, a legitimate genre) in HMV, alongside 'Mrs. Doubtfire' and 'Freaky Friday' and cost me £2.

I'm confused as to why, with the first film, 'My neighbour Totoro', the animators even agreed to draw such a boring story line, or why Dakota Fanning even opened her mouth to lend her voice to such a creation.



So from the picture, it looks like fun. The story, however, is as follows; Two girls, Ling and Fong, move house with their dad. Ling goes to school, and Fong wonders round getting dirty. Their mum is in hospital. One day Fong falls asleep and dreams about a little creature. They have an old neighbour. Fong has another dream that the little creature has a fat friend named Totoro. They visit their mum in the hospital, and their old neighbour babysits them sometimes. Fong takes Ling to Totoro's presumed hideout, but it doesn't exist because he's not real. They get on a bus, and totoro is there, they have a big party with him, then they wake up in the real world. Their mum gets better. mmm. Longest 80 minutes ever.

Now onto film number two, 'Female Trouble', starring Divine.



Already from the picture, we can see that these guys are having just as much fun as Totoro and the gang. But i'll have you know they had more fun. So Divine get's kicked out of school for being a fat, compulsive liar. On christmas morning, she doesn't get the present she wants and so crushes her mother under the Christmas tree and runs away to get raped by a fat man, in a dump. She gives birth to taffy, and gets a job as a shit-kicker and a thief. She is hired by the local hairdressers to get her hair done in exchange for sex. She continues to beat up taffy, and marries her hairdresser. He fucks her with several tools from his tool box, which she loves. But one day, he fucks her with a carrot, and she finds this behaviour disgusting, so she locks her daughter taffy in a cage and divorces him. His mother gets angry at this, and throws acid in Divine's face, scarring her for life. It is only now, at her most Beautiful. that Divine and the gang REALLY start having fun, and so i will leave the rest of the story for you to find out. Needless to say, My Neighbour Totoro was overrated. I'm going to the Gender-Bender section more often.