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After the Marathon, the next exciting thing to happen was that Will and Kate got married (FYI). I watched it in bed.
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Not alone obviously. Olivia was my Princess for the day. She was even wearing a real Tiara. But she doesn't want to be seen here.
Olivia left me for some seasonal work in Australia.
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And you know what filled the hole she left in my life? My stalker. That's right. I had a stalker for a while in 2010. He would pop up in the most awkward places and fuck my day up. Well he reared his ugly head last month and fucked my whole life up, and I've been having bad dreams about him every night since. Seriously. I could name him and shame him but that would be mean. Maybe if he crops up again, I will. Unless I dispose of him first.
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But it might not have to come to that. Because I dyed my hair blond, so he won't be able to find me. (That's not true. He likely knows i've dyed my hair, but I needed an excuse to mention it to you). And blonde's definitely do have more fun. Maybe not more fun in life, per se. But more fun with different colours of dye. What's that saying? "You can't paint a shit pink" or something. Well you can't dye black hair pink either.
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Or green.
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